helping hands

sometimes, i scare myself. i like to think of myself as open, accepting, disarming and above all else unassuming. when the truth hits, it doesn't hurt so much, it shameful. i see this man often at the shopping center i frequent. he stand in front of shopper's drug mart, holding those newspapers in one hand, a coffee cup in the other and he's always smiling. he looks friendly enough, but until i spoke to him i just assumed that the coffee cup was for change .. for him.
it turns out, with just a small bit of conversation, he's a do gooder and his intentions aren't for him, but rather for a group of people. we spoke briefly about the weather and about the newspapers (which are published to build awareness for the homeless). the money he collects is for youth that live in shelters. we talked a bit more and he showed me his bike. he was quite proud of his form of transportation, actually he beamed, (i actually wondered if it was stolen - out comes assumption again.) and we ended the conversation with a smiles and i happily donated $5.oo to his cause.
walking away feeling like i helped somehow, shame started to settle in. i wondered if my money was actually going somewhere. i started to feel like i wasn't helping at all and that i was encouraging homelessness. then i look at this photo and i can't help but feel happiness - this man was so damn grateful to be alive and is out there pushing his news, believing that people are good and most of all, he wears that smile too naturally not to be happy.