anonymous

there are only a few of you that actually read the going ons in my world, my mind, my heart. others know the ramblings, the drunkness, the stonedness, the silliness, and there are the others that see me on a daily and know nothing of what happens in the parameters of my body, my full, head to toes body. so, i thought, why then should it even matter if i use this anymore, maybe i could, or would create a new place for me to type my words into. i thought more and concluded that i should stay put and keep my thoughts here. you know where they are, you know how to read them, and this is how i will continue, whether you are here or not.

i have no secrets, so the things i write will be candid, honest, heavy and sometimes hurtful, but i'm working shit out, i'm working it out. as people, we are conditioned to "work it out", "see it through", "make things work", if you ask me this is optimism at it's cheesiest. it seems unfair almost, why can't we just talk? i don't want to come across as an asshole, but honestly, i can't help it, it's part of who i am. i say things, honest things, and i don't mean to hurt, but by keeping myself silent, i'm learning that the scars are being left for me to bear. i'm lonely. and that alone is hard to swallow.